From the recording Turntable Tribulations
Fat Tongue is three songs rolled into one. It starts with a soft shoe approach, a two minute theatrical drum and vocal intro where lead singer, Meg Cratty, acknowledges that there is a problem and she knows what it is causing it.
Our lives are inundated with notifications, social media, and pundits spewing egregious nonsense. The Margaret Hooligans are direct in their lyrical approach and proclaim that you have a “Fat Tongue” and the only solution is to keep it in your mouth. The intro gives way to a rock and roll bridge by way of a jumble of noisy drums, electric ukulele slides, and Mr. Strontium’s patented vocal heckling. This bleeds out into a combination of the spare soft shoe start with a rhythm reminiscent of “Tequila”, combined with the electric ukulele while Meg gleefully repeats the verse and chorus from the beginning of the song.
Meg Cratty: Lead vox, electric ukulele
Mr. Strontium: Back Up Vox, Drums/Percussion
Mixed and Mastered by Jon Huxtable, Smallfish Recordings
Produced by Mr. Strontium
Written by The Margaret Hooligans
Lyrics
I think we got a problem
And I think I know the cause
There’s a river of nonsense
And I think I found its source
You got a fat tongue
Fat tongue
Fat one
Fat tongue
And it’s going to kill you in your sleep
Someone musta dropped you on your head
Because you can’t stop talking trash
Shut your pie hole
You sound like Darth Vader when you go to bed
And no one wants to know your name
You got a fat tongue
Fat tongue
Fat one
Fat tongue
You got a fat tongue on you
You know you really can’t shut up
You’re always talking out yo ass
Shut yo asshole
You piss off everyone around you
You got a fat tongue on ya
You got a fat tongue
Fat tongue
Fat one
Fat tongue
You got a fat tongue on you
Doctor what you gonna do
Doctor I don’t know
Doctor what do you suggest
What is your prescription man
Hey drummer
That’s me
How do we get this royal fat ass to shut up
Oh I know how
Do you have a concrete solution mister
I got a feeling in my bones mother freaker
Feeling in my bones
I’m gonna get that son of a bitch
With the feeling in my bones
Keep your tongue in your mouth
Please keep your tongue in your freaking mouth
Keep your tongue in your mouth
Keep that tongue in your mouth
That’s my plan
My plan is to tell you
My plan is to tell you to keep your tongue
Keep that tongue in your mouth
Keep your tongue in your mouth
Why you always wagging that tongue
Ain’t you got nothing nice to say
Your Momma shoulda told you how
To keep your tongue in your mouth
Fat tongues are all around you
Spreading their poison about
I’m gonna put my headphones on
So I don’t have to hear you
Fat tongue
Fat tongue
Fat tongue
Fat tongue
Fat tongue
Shut your piehole
You gotta fat tongue
Fat tongue
Shut ya asshole
You gotta fat tongue
Fat tongue
Shut ya blowhole
Sh sh sh shove it where the moon don’t shine
You know you really can’t shut up
You’re always talking out yo ass
You piss off everyone around you
You got a fat tongue on ya
You got a fat tongue
Fat tongue
You got a fat one
You got a fat tongue
And it’s going to kill you in your sleep
Someone musta dropped you on your head
Because you can’t stop talking trash
Shut ya pie hole
You sound like Darth Vader when you go to bed
And no one wants to know your name
You got a fat tongue
You got a fat one
You got a fat tongue
You got a fat tongue on ya