From the recording Boombox Blasts
Lyrics
He’s got… the best mallets all over the county
He’s got the best wands you ever did see
He knows when it’s time to hit with a mallet
He knows not every drum has to be hit as hard as it can
I know it’s hard to bend in your thumbs when you walk
I know it’s less manly to hit with a mallet
I know it takes a lot of guts to put down your sticks old man
He does he doesn’t always want such a soft sound
He has to remember to not hit so hard with his mallets
I like a man who can wield that mallet
I like that he’ll do it while he’s carrying a pallet
I like that he has enough money in his wallet
So he can have a wall full of his mallets
When she gets back into town she’s going to look for some mallets
It’s her favorite pastime she’s shopping with his wallet
I want to make sure there’s enough mallets
She will keep them in a colorful pallet
I know it could be wonderful without those mallets
He likes to hit those drums so hard without em
But sometimes a girl needs that softer touch
So she’s not drowned out so much
Mallets!
Mallets!
You could be so high with that other girl
You could be so happy in another world
Or you could bring those mallets
Mallets
Those mallets
Mallets
Mallets!